


to say it to a crowd

by Murf1307



Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: An AU of an AU, F/M, Fix-It of Sorts, Future Fic, Interviews, Magazine articles, Reunions, Trans Alex Summers, Trans Female Character, Trans Girl Alex Summers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-27 10:59:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17160776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Murf1307/pseuds/Murf1307
Summary: An AU of 'Blue Skies Forever' wherein, in Cuba, Alex chooses to join up with Erik, Raven, and the Hellfire Club.  A couple of years later, Emma shows her a magazine article that changes everything.





	to say it to a crowd

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, so, this is technically non-canon within the plot of the series as it stands right now. Basic context: in this version of the story, Darwin dies in Virginia, and Alex decides to go with Raven because she doesn't want to be the only girl and only trans person in the mansion. Then, Darwin comes back, and takes up a position as the field leader to the X-Men.

**INT:** _ So, the X-Men...there are definitely folks who take offense to this team of superheroes being led by a black man.  Do you have a response to those people? _

**DAR:** Many of those same folks have trouble with me existing at all, so anything I say is just gonna make them angrier.  And there's a lot more interesting things to talk about than racists, I think.

**INT:** _ Fair enough.  It can't be easy, though.   _

**DAR:** I won't lie and say it is.  But I have the X-Men, and that helps.  Having people helps.

**INT:** _ Pardon the intrusion, then, but is there a Mrs. Darwin? _

**DAR:** _ (laughs softly)  _ Ah, no, no.  There was a girl, once, but…

**INT:** _ Ouch.  What happened? _

**DAR:** Well, I died, and she went a different way.  I can't begrudge her that. I hope she's happy.

**INT:** _ You died? _

**DAR:** Yeah, kind of.  I exploded, and it took me a while to put myself back together.  The X-Men thought I was dead, and so did she. She was gone by the time I made it back.

**INT:** _ Do you think you'll ever see her again?  _

**DAR:** I see her, now and then, from a distance.  Enough to know she's probably alright. That's...well... that's how it is, now.

**INT:** _ Sounds rough.  Do you hold out any hope that you'll reunite with her someday? _

**DAR:** If you and the public could permit me a little selfishness, there's nothing I want more.  I miss her like hell.

**INT:** _ If you'll forgive our curiosity.  What is she like? _

**DAR:** Well, when I knew her, she was sharp as glass.  Could curse a blue streak. Played a mean game of pinball.  I loved seeing her in white, because it brought out the blue of her eyes.

**INT:** _Is she…?_

**DAR:** A mutant?  Yeah. She scared herself with it, back then.  I hope she's not afraid anymore.

 

* * *

 

“Why'd you give me this?” she asks Emma, sharply.  She thumbs tears out of the corners of her eyes. “We've got shit to do.”

“Mystique is missing.  So is Riptide. Tempest and Azazel are dead.  Magneto is in prison.” Emma ticks off the names on her fingers.  “I don't plan on fighting a losing battle, Havok, and you can't fight a war alone.”

Alex swallows.  “So you're leaving, then.”

“Yes.  And you should, too.  You have a man who misses you, after all.” 

“Don't you always say to never trust a man, Em?” Alex wants this, wants  _ him _ , but there's so much risk in it.  She can't bear the idea of losing him again.

Emma taps on the magazine page.  “He just as good as admitted he's in love with a white woman in  _ TIME  _ magazine, Havok.  He's not stupid, and a smart man doesn't say things like that if he's not ready to stand by them.”

She swallows.  The world is full of people that already hate him for what he is, and hate her for what she is.  And he just offered, in essence, to carry more of that hate’s burden, because people will hate him  _ even _ more for loving her — or whatever kind of woman  _ they _ picture, since none of them know who she is.

He loves her.  And he’s willing to love her in  _ public _ .

She knows what that means, and she takes a deep breath.  “You’re right. I — I have to go back up to Westchester.”

Emma nods.  “I wish you luck.”

 

* * *

 

It takes days, because she can't risk an airplane, but finally, she lifts her bag out of a taxi at the gate of the Xavier Institute For Gifted Youngsters.  

She's dressed in white, of course — Emma's last gift to her, bought in Miami, a white dress not too unlike the one Raven gave her that fateful summer.  Raven's gone, Mystique's in the wind, and Alex would pray for her, if ever she was the praying type. Her hair is long, now, and she hides her eyes behind big sunglasses.

Fear grips her as the cab pulls away.  What if he's changed his mind? What if there's a new girl?

But she's come this far.  She crosses the threshold of the gate after taking a deep breath.  Charles can tell she's here, probably, but she doesn't care what he thinks.  

Up the steps.  Knock on the door.  It's a  _ school _ now.  

The door opens, revealing...Hank?

But dweeby, nerdy Hank, not the gorgeous Beast he'd morphed into.

“Why aren't you blue?”

Hank flinches, then blinks.  “Alex? Is that you?” He bites his lip, and she notices he's still got fangs.  “Sorry, it's just…you smell a little different than I remember.”

“Right,” she says, nodding.  “Yeah, uh. Frost got me on hormones.”

“That's good,” he says.

She's not surprised by how awkward the conversation is.  She and Hank have always had...issues. But she's glad he hasn't slammed the door in her face, at least.

“Is, um.  Is Darwin around?” She knows she sounds nervous.

Hank nods.  “Yeah, uh, he's working with a kid down in the bunker.” He steps back from the door.  “Please, come in. I'll, uh, I'll let him know you're here.”

She steps inside.  It looks the same as she remembers.  “Should I go somewhere?”

Hank nods.  “Uh, the room with the billiard table,” he says.

She nods, taking off her sunglasses, and heads for the room.  It's been redone a little, but the first thing she notices stops her dead in her tracks.

They put in a pinball machine.

It doesn't look anything like the one from the compound, but she still can't help the flashbulb memories — 

_ Darwin, smiling at her, the lights dancing over his cheek — _

_ His arms around her in the middle of the night, safe for now with the curtains drawn, the world outside a distant dream — _

_ His hand curling around her hip to get her to turn away toward the window — _

She forces herself into the room and sits down on the couch, her bag at her feet.  She waits, trying not to think about the article, the things he told the world about her.

A minute or two later, he darkens the doorway of the room, and she looks up at him, drinking in the sight of him in civilian clothes for the first time since that night.  He looks beautiful, but he's always been beautiful to her. The new things, the post-Return things, his white eyes and smooth, hairless complexion, only make him  _ more _ attractive.

“Alex?” he asks.

“Yeah.  I'm. I wanted to see you.” She’s blushing, she can already feel it.  “I saw the interview in, in TIME magazine.”

He approaches, sitting down beside her.  “I wasn't expecting them to ask me about you.”

She takes a breath.  “Were you telling the truth?”

“Yes.”

The room is so quiet you could hear a pin drop.  Alex isn't even sure Armando is  _ breathing  _ right now.  

“Then...can I stay?” He's close enough to touch, but part of her is afraid she won't be permitted to, after everything she's done.  She wants nothing more than to be at his side; it's all she wanted in the beginning, too.

“Please,” he says, a near-whisper, and his hand reaches out to cover one of hers.  “ _ Please. _ ”

His touch is the same as it ever was.  He's always been sure of her, always been gentle with his steady hands.  She could fall to pieces in the circle of his arms, if she needed to.

Today, she's surprised to find she doesn't need to fall apart.  Instead, she turns her hand over and laces their fingers together.

“I missed you so much,” she murmurs.  “First because you were dead, and then because I was gone.” She flicks tears from the corners of her eyes, smiling a little ruefully.  “Someday, if we ever see Mystique again, you should ask her how awful I was to deal with right after I found out you'd come back.”

Armando laughs, his hand tightening on hers.  “How is she? Charles has been worried since Dallas.”

Since Kennedy.  “I don't know. She...vanished after that.”  Alex exhales. “She was pregnant, though. Enough to show.  I just hope that wherever she is, her and her baby are safe.”

“Well, shit,” he says.  “And Angel?” He sounds hopeful, and she hates to tell him.

“Dead.  Part of the reason Mystique showed up in Dallas, along with Azazel.” She swallows.  “Azazel's the one who got Raven pregnant. The three of them were a thing together. When they died, she kind of lost it.”

His face falls.  “Christ. I'd hoped…”

“I know,” she says, softly.  “It's...it's all gone to shit, hasn't it?”

She’d heard about Sean, after all.

“Yeah.”

She leans against his shoulder, squeezing his hand.  “People are gonna recognize Havok,” she murmurs. “But I'd like to help, if I can.”

“Sayin’ you want to be an X-Man?” He's half-teasing her.

“If it'll help.  That kid with the claws could use a little guidance,” she points out.  “And I fight better than I teach, anyhow.”

Darwin laughs, just a little.  “Yeah. Yeah, I could see that.”

She squeezes his hand again, smiling, and, finally, she feels at peace again with her place in the world.


End file.
